How Do I Get My Kid To Leave The Park?
This can be a tricky one, since the park is usually a place where kids are having a lot of fun! In this blog, I want to address a particular strategy that parents often use. Specifically, trying to convince kids to leave the park (or anywhere they’re having a hard time leaving) by saying, “I’m going to leave you here if you don’t come - bye!”.
I get where this is coming from. Parents are desperate to get their kid to leave and after trying other strategies, they pull out what they feel is a last resort strategy. However, I’m going to suggest we go ahead and throw this response in the trash for 2 reasons.
Are you ever going to actually leave them there? No, you’re not. From a behavioral perspective, you are creating a consequence that you will not follow through on. This is the opposite of saying what you mean and meaning what you say, which is a fantastic way to get kids to listen and follow directions more. If they know you will not follow through on this consequence, they most definitely won’t respond to it.
I used the word consequence in point 1, but this is really more of a threat. The underlying message is, “If you don’t listen and follow directions, I will leave you”. This is a pretty scary message for a kid to hear!
Instead of using this threat as a strategy, try the following:
Give your kid at least 1 warning before it’s time to leave, maybe about 5-10 minutes, depending on their age (less time for younger kids).
Mean what you say. If you said it’s time to go, it’s time to go. If you need to pick them up and carry them to the stroller / car / etc., then do so.
Expect push-back. They’re not going to like leaving and if this is the first (or one of the first) time(s) you’ve followed through, they will be surprised and probably push back.
Give yourself a pat on the back for following through and keep doing it! It will get easier over time.
If you’d like personalized help implementing these strategies or still have questions, feel free to reach out for a free consult!
