Authentic: “It was just fine”

During my years as a therapist, one interaction stands out. A seven-month-pregnant woman confided her stress about a significant pressure: breastfeeding. Surrounded by the "Breast is Best" message from healthcare providers, family, and peers, she felt obligated to breastfeed despite a strong personal preference against it.

She hesitantly mentioned, "I probably need to find a way to breastfeed, right?" clearly starting to resign herself to a choice that felt wrong.  Her distress was palpable.

Two things were clear. First, fostering a supportive and trusting environment was crucial for her well-being, which was my ultimate goal. Second, that she needed to do what was authentic to her for the best overall results.

My response aimed to convey empathy and understanding while empowering her to find a path true to herself. I asked, "Who will be primarily responsible for feeding the baby?" Given her situation, she replied, "My husband and I."

There, I gently suggested, lies your answer. You and your partner are a team, united in feeding your child, at home, on your terms.

Ultimately, the baby thrived on formula. And that was just fine.

With the clear caveat that there is sometimes good reason to follow the advice and parenting ideas of the many (especially regarding health and safety), there are many ways to parent that are just fine. You are the person who knows you, your family, and your kids the best. You are responsible for and decide how you parent.

Do you feel like you’re parenting authentically? Or do you feel stuck following the crowd? If you want to learn more and want guidance along the way, check out Parenting, By You: Vision & Action Plan.